Winter rattles
When the rattling within walks me closer to that edge and then welcomes me into the Wintering season...
“Winter rattles” was originally published as an exclusive post to my Patreon supporters in December 2021. Now the writing and photos and video are public to you, too.
Walking
A few weeks ago I started going for walks again, to get outside and move and feel the changing season. I will confess that I hadn’t been looking forward to Winter, but that first brisk walk started to change my mood.
I leave the house early in the morning, just when the first light of dawn starts to appear. It’s quiet and still, and yet in another way it’s not. The sunlight catches the last golden leaves on a tree just so, and they shimmer. The air is crisp, and it makes me power walk instead of stroll. I feel my body. My breathing gets deeper taking in the cold air. My stride picks up to keep warm. Winter is welcoming me into its energy and I'm responding.
Green
Last week when I started to consider the next bundle of inspiration to send to my Connection Tier on Patreon, I found myself gathering various leaves and seed pods to make something. And they were all green. How was it that they were green when I would have expected them to be the early Winter shades of dusty brown or dull orange or waning yellow at this point?
Green is associated with the heart chakra, with relationships, to love and self-love, with nature and life. It’s as if the green was telling me something. Winter has its surprises, too. Look closely. Winter is part of the cycle of life, maybe the beginning of life again in the midst of what looks like life all around ending.
See, I hadn’t been looking forward to Winter because it meant going into the loneliness of myself, to the deep dedication and discipline needed with my artwork and inner world in which I was feeling pulled to journey. I was afraid. I was rattling inside, resisting and fighting it. My relationship with Winter, and myself, was on shaky ground.
Green was telling me why not love Winter, love the loneliness, love the rattling, love the wisdom that might, just might, emerge? My friend Marga (and Patreon supporter, thank you!) talked about Wintering, her long journey there, and what it meant as she went through transitions and discovered new meaning.
Rattling
I spent a few days last week wrapping the green leaves and seed pods in indigo-dyed thread. I didn’t know what I was making, it’s just where I began.
It was soothing and calming, mostly, and then sometimes not too – like when I got distracted, slightly bored, or when whatever I was listening to mismatched my mood, or the itch of checking Instagram got me.
There it was. The loneliness. Edgy. Resisting. Rattling.
I gathered one each of the wrapped green leaves and seed pods, then wrapped them around a stick, and tied the threads off in a knot.
I shook it to see what it would sound like, and laughed. Of course I had made a rattle!
Wintering
I realized then that maybe this is how I can harness and gather that rattling within me. To touch that edge where resistance is felt, where that resistance towards Winter is felt, and try to be okay with it. Like my morning walks outside in the cold, to feel it in my body and move step by step closer into Winter’s edgy energy within, transforming it into something meaningful, and welcoming my own Wintering season…
May you discover the cool breeze of Winter on your cheeks.
May you find solace in the quiet, alone days of Winter.
May the rattle within you be transformed into meaningfulness, too.
“Winter rattles” was originally published as an exclusive post to my Patreon supporters in December 2021. Now it’s public and available to you, too!
And I’m excited to announce that since December 2022, I’ve switched to Ko-fi!
Ko-fi is also an online creator platform and makes it easy for fans to financially support creatives with either a one-time donation or signing up for a monthly subscription. It is where I share early access and exclusive content of my creative process, original stories, and inspiration. My work explores fiber arts, nature gathering, mark making, photography, and writing.
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A big shout out to my wonderful supporters! Thank you, each of you, for supporting my ongoing creative work – Julie B, Sharmila K, Sushmita M, Kori J, Marga F, Kara B, Kristina L, Laura C, Louise B, Beck C, Skip M, Chris Z, and Richie M. It means so much and I am grateful. I think of you as create these posts, what I write about and share, and I hope that it offers you insight and inspiration along the way.
