Rangolis: shadow and illumination
My dark shadows came through, seeking light, and illuminated what I needed to see and understand more deeply.
This video shows all the different rangolis I created of shadow and illumination.
Last November 2021, I celebrated Diwali, The Festival of Lights, for the first time. Originating in the Indian subcontinent, Diwali is one of the most popular festivals of Hinduism, symbolizing “the spiritual victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance”.
I had the joy of being a small part of “Celebrating Light & Life: Diwali at The Kennedy Center,” a four-evening program of amazing performances curated by my dear friend (and Patreon supporter, thank you!), Sushmita Mazumdar.
I spend two days in Sush’s studio, one of the days with Kori (and Patreon supporter, thank you!) cutting out colorful handmade papers from templates that would be made into Sush’s little handmade book, “My Rangoli” for the last evening. She writes, “On the dark and moonless night of Diwali, we light lamps and place them on our Rangoli. Then we see how light shows color and color brings joy!”
It inspired others. Susan was inspired to create a beautifully mesmerizing video. Dena was inspired to write a soulful song performed with her handmade ektara. And Ruben was inspired to translate the Diwali story, “Little Lantern and the Dark & Moonless Night” into Spanish so more people could enjoy it.
One night as I lay in bed unable to fall back asleep, it came to me. It was my turn to be inspired to create something, too! What would it be if I took the extra sheets of my expressive mark making, and cut them into the template pages, and made my own little Rangoli books?
I pulled out a stash of mark making from prior experiments. Some were from practicing Lao characters, and others were with the marks of fabric brushes. A few were from translating a tree branch, and still more were marks from Sush’s ArtPAUSE class. Mostly black on white. Some color.
With my mark making I’ve always felt that black and white dance together. How can they be separated? They need each other to exist, like positive and negative, light and dark, shadow and illumination. They hold each other together.
It wouldn’t be colorful, I thought. It’s mostly black and white work, I worried. Would it have the same meaning? Could it? Maybe. Just from another perspective. From shadow.
Because see, my Shadow had decided to visit – Envy and Judgement – and they bothered me terribly. I was feeling them all, and feeling bad about myself for feeling such things. I tried to push them away. I tried to hide them. I didn't like them. They wouldn’t go away.
What would happen if I let Shadow in, to see what she wanted, to be seen for what she truly is, instead of always pushing her away and hiding her? Can I see it’s only me even when it’s scary, even when it feels too big and awful and overwhelming. Just a little.
One small light can illuminate even the darkest room, I remember Dena saying. Can darkness too, offer depth and dimension to an overexposed space? If they are connected and hold each other and need each other, why not?
And in the depth of that very unpleasant place I found something – Grief. The grief of letting go of Indigo Lion’s shop and all those beautiful Lao textiles; the loss of some part of my identity; the empty space of uncertainty; the strange pang of unworthiness. I heaved a deep sigh.
And then this popped up on my Instagram feed:
“True healing is not a state where we become liberated from feeling, but freer and flexible to experience it more fully. It is the willingness to make a journey into the darker, deeper, more complex, and more nuance dimension of the psychic spectrum...” ~Matthew Licata, A Healing Space
Because sometimes when it’s too bright outside, we need sunglasses to see. And sometimes when we only want to feel the good feelings, it prevents us from deeper insight and understanding.
Shadow guides us to Illumination, too.
“Rangolis: Shadow and Illumination” was originally published as an exclusive post to my Patreon supporters in November 2021. Now it’s public and available to you, too!
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A big shout out to my wonderful supporters! Thank you, each of you, for supporting my ongoing creative work – Julie B, Sharmila K, Sushmita M, Kori J, Marga F, Kara B, Kristina L, Laura C, Louise B, Beck C, Skip M, Chris Z, and Richie M. It means so much and I am grateful. I think of you as create these posts, what I write about and share, and I hope that it offers you insight and inspiration along the way.