Inside outside beside
Musings, music, and how stories change.
Inside
It was during a meditation that the image appeared to her, of being in an open, dome-like, illuminated cave, and seeing hand prints and animal drawings on the walls. Looking around and taking it all in, she felt awe. Humans have been artists for a really really long time, she thought. Expressing what is seen on the outside and bringing it to the inside. Maybe making meaning, expressing an inner curiosity of the world. She mused.
The cave, like her studio, was where her inner and outer worlds met. For the rest of the day she was there, in her studio, with the paper lanterns and black ink and stones, bringing inside and outside together.
She dipped one stone in black ink, then imprinted it onto the outside of the paper lantern, one after another, dipping and imprinting.
The thin lantern paper crinkled with the weight of the pressed stone soaked in black ink. The black ink had seeped through the outside, to the inside, then underneath as it left its mark. When she opened up the paper lantern, she saw it all clearly.
Look inside, peer within, the imprints of the outside are there, too. Fainter perhaps, and not as defined, but they’ve made their mark within, too.
Outside
She wanted to make a video – one because she was struggling again with what to write, and two she had taken a lot of photos and videos and this would be a way to show more of her creative process.
After sorting through it all, she made the various edits and enhancements to the photos and videos, and then started to arrange them in the video editing program. She didn’t have a preconceived idea or a narrative (she hardly ever did when making videos) and just wanted to play around and see what would emerge.
Halfway in she chose background music. It changed the mood of the video entirely. It changed the narrative of the story she was writing. She was writing about ‘inside’, and somehow the ‘outside’ – the music – changed it into something else.
In a better way, actually. Maybe it was her mood now. Maybe it’s the mood she wanted to convey to others. It was upbeat, even playful. And that’s what the video became. Because it was also true that making marks on paper lanterns, with a stone soaked in black ink, was unexpectedly fun.
The world outside makes its marks on us, too, creating inner impressions. Sometimes we don’t see it, and yet it shows up, often in unexpected ways.
Beside
She was kind of beside herself though, wondering what to do as she finished writing and uploading the video. She thought she had one story: inside. And then she had another: outside. And now she saw another: beside.
How was she to make sense of it all? The stories seemed all on the side, beside each other, and weaving them together in some thoughtful conclusion just wasn’t coming. Maybe that’s just it. She wasn’t supposed to.
Besides, aren’t there multiple ways to look at things and tell stories? She began musing again. Aren’t there different ways of seeing things, from this side or that side, to both sides or neither side?
Each of us has a way of experiencing the world, our inner worlds and outer worlds and worlds beside us, she thought, each making a mark and creating impressions on the other.
Like black ink seeping through layers of paper.
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Musing...
LouLou
The song in the video that changed everything is “Marty Gots a Plan” by Kevin MacLeod, described as “mysterious cinematic piece with a touch of humor.”
“Inside outside beside” was originally published as an exclusive post to my Ko-fi supporters in May 2023. Now it is public to you, too!
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